Select Portfolio Servicing: Satanic or Stupid. An Actors View

Here is my experience with the dunderheads of Select Portfolio Servicing.

After a year of working with them on a loan modification, where month after month, they "need more documentation" Pay stubs, my blood in small vials, I finally figure out what the problem is.

I am an actor. My income is scattered. I am on salary for short stretches, sometimes a day.
The loan people don't understand this. "Well if you are part time with TheatreCompany why can't you go full time, pick up more hours?"  
...
Really? I. Am. An. Actor. We are always trying to pick up more hours. Duh.
"But you have a very LARGE check from TVPayroll , so that must be your new employer?"
How does one explain residual to a layperson?
"But it's all W2?"
Yes. Yes it is.
But self-employed people are 1099
In your little cubicle based life, I suppose that is true. I however get w2's. Many W2's Many, Many W2's.

They don't get it, refuse to get it, or are simply trying to drive me crazy so I quit.

The Satanic part? "Well after looking over your income this month (AAAUUUGGGHH!!!!) I think the best idea would be to sell your home. Here let me get you to one of our bloodsucking, red eyed demonic agents, and they will sell your home for you! Leaving you still owing us money! And nowhere to live!
WTF?
I finally get it. They don't want, need or have motivation to help anyone. I am not desperate but, boy if I was, these assholes would have me out of my property and on the street faster than you could say Ben Bernanke. And the absolute worst part? I have to stay with them. I have no choice in the matter.
When did I land in Dante's 9th circle?
PLEASE file a complaint against them with the BBB!