Tuesday, November 28, 2006

I am the pregnant Rodney Dangerfield

Case in point: In my last show I was wearing ( I know Demondoll can relate) A white unitard.... I'm pausing so you can all picture this... I am at a low ebb concerning my looks, feeling and looking like the Battleship Potemkin, and yet, I cavorted all of my extra poundage around for weeks, onstage, in a nationally renowned, Tony award winning yet, theatre in a blinding white stretchy, unforgiving, and god-help me if I had to pee, unitard. Oh the humanity!

This is the buggy crew. T is in my favorite color. He looked good in it. I was super jealous. His costumer made the baby a tiny replica of his worm hat.... AWWWWW!!!!

Babystrike proceeds apace. We are slowly and through the delightfully sweet auspices of friends and family, getting everything we need for little Norbert... Bartholomew? Titus?? Anyway one disturbing trend is the preponderance of WARNINGS on every available inch of baby stuff space. The dear little Bassinet/Co-sleeper thingy as much as warns you... do NOT leave your baby unattended in this thing, (huh???) well we had a panic attack and then noticed that the cribs say that, the car seats say that, the baby rockers say that... I guess the companies need to cover their butts by giving already nervous new parents high blood pressure. Not very pleasant or restful, but one does get used to it. Just remember: plastic bags are not toys (duh), baby seats shouldn't be installed in the drivers seat(double duh), and don't get freaked out if you hear your neighbors very saucy cell phone conversations on the baby monitor. It's all par for the course in Babylandia

Friday, November 17, 2006


I am so tuckered out at the end of the day that it's all I can do to drag myself to my beddy.
Love doing the show, it's been a blast and I'm going tot miss it, but I'm HUGE! Luckily since I'm playing a spider most people think it's just part of the costume.

I had my family here last weekend and had a great time, of course I couldn't play with them as much as I wanted to, but Myles got to see the show and he seemed to enjoy it... "Last year Tia D'ana cat, this year Spider..." he sighed astutely, and he proclaimed "SCARY!" when he saw the view from onstage and observed all the seats.

T and I are TRYING to take the whole "Birthing process" thing seriously... but can't get past the hilarity. When did it become mandatory for men to be squishy? T read that he was supposed to cry over his OWN baby pictures with me, and throw hissy fits on airplanes, and buy me expensive baubles, and offer them to me with tears in his eyes. He threw that book against the wall and has refused to read anything else. Really, do we honestly want weepy men populating the planet? NO WE DON'T! Suggestions for something less obnoxious? I really want those baubles!

BTW there is NO chivalry towards preggies in line for the bathroom. All the books say that the line will open up like Moses and the Red Sea. HA! Went to see a show the other night, waddled out to the bathroom during intermission, and all of the old women took one huge unsympathetic look at me, smirked and seemed to be saying "It's your funeral girlie, I went through it and had to tinkle in gutters!" It's not so much the peeing aspect of it... I HATE standing in line. At the post office some guy hollered at me when I went to go sit on the bench while I waited for my turn and then came back online. "So you're cutting?" he sneered, "No I'm pregnant" I said calmly, my tone dripping with scorn and my voice pitched loud enough so that the whole line could hear me... Chivalry, my big, over sized and growing huger by the day A$$.