Wednesday, March 29, 2006

A fiction:
In Colombia the sky is a blue that is almost obscene, it is so beautiful. So blue that no one in the country has eyes that blue, because it would be impossible to compete with the color. My beloved, beautiful grandmother adored that blue. Her name was Russian. Her father, a wastrel, a third born son and a reader of a great many novels named her after some character from a Russian story. She suffered greatly. She had been married off at 15 to a man much older. In their wedding picture he is leaning against the wall because he didn't have the strength to hold himself up. He was cruel, in the way weak men are cruel, and their marriage was never happy. She wanted many children, but was blessed with only one, my mother. I have a suspicion that she was the product of some small affair, some little glimpse of happiness, that my grandma had. My Mami, who had a Russian name as well, was tiny and delicate and snow white and not at all like the other children in the family, who were robust and indian. She was smart and bright. She was so pretty she was chosen almost every year of her girlhood to be the one to dress the Madonna of the sea.
This particular Madonna had been rescued from the Caribbean. She had been on a ship from spain that sank and she washed ashore at Puerto Colombia, naked, the sea having eaten her gown. The people of Puerto rescued her, took her naked form from the beach, washed her, and clothed her beautiful body in new robes. It became a tradition, that every year the young girls would remove her old robes and dress her in new ones. She was a sacred doll, and particularly beautiful because she had alabaster skin, and black black hair. Real Hair, that somehow managed to survive her ravaging by the sea. My mother was one of the girls who would sew for her, clean her, and dress her for her annual parade around the town square. The Madonna still lives in the tiny broken down church in Puerto Colombia. The town is in ruins, but the black haired Virgin is there, raising her limpid eyes to the population that adores her.
(A start of a story)

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Target...dream or dante's inferno?

I just spent 2 shows worth of income on a new garment bag at Tar-dzeey. That red symbol, those groaning aisles, Luella, Isaac... ayayayay. This is the CUTEST garment bag I have ever owned. It has a peony on it!
Lordy but I'm a sucker for good design. And anything pink. AND I NEED new luggage anyway.. I lost all of my old stuff in "The Divorce" If I had the money... boy I would've bought the whole luggage line. It's classic and classy. I also got a new iPod holder and it has skulls on it!!! Pink accented skulls! How could I possibly have resisted? Even if my iPod is prehistoric, OLD and Old and OLD! Retail therapy. A cure for my lonely self. Thank god I know better than to put it on my credit card; when one works strictly cash, spending is curtailed. And a good thing too... I love pretty things so much...

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Looking for Mr. Graham...

I had a great friend in HS, well not actually in HS, we did shows together at SJCMT in San Jose. Our first show was "Joseph and the Amazing...etc" We played brothers. John Graham, where are you? Remember a weem a weh? And F@$#@t Bro? And all that fun we had together on my prom night, where even tho' you didn't go to my school, we took our mutually loony dates to the bunkers in San Francisco? You were a great friend. Last I heard you were at UCSB. Hey! Did you become a journalist?
You were weird and I adored you!

Friday, March 24, 2006

My Nephew is SOOO cute!

I mean C'mon! could he be cuter? How could one NOT want one?

Tom is driving to Alabama with his Dad and I am left behind like an unbeliever...
I'm going next week, but sigh...I hate being left out of the fun.
Ah well....
I'm going to bike MILES and MILES while he's gone!
'cept of course I have 10 Desperate Housewives episodes to watch first.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Just a thought...

You know, they say you never know a person until you walk a mile in their shoes. Here's a walk in mine:
Up at 6am to drive to an elementary school, perform once, perhaps twice. Lunch at 11am, then another show. Sometimes I go straight from the school to a murder mystery gig. Home maybe before midnight, then the day starts again. I am constantly worrying about where my next paycheck is going to spring. As you ALL know, it's hard to live out here in LA on the money an actor makes. Anyway, I am constantly exhausted and perhaps not as attentive to my friendships as I should be. I love T and I love Laguna Beach, but I am isolated from my friends by the vagaries of freeways. I miss my friends, girlfriends especially. I work with men, and they just don't GET it when one needs girl time.
I recently had a bit of a blow, regarding a friendship. I feel like I'm in mourning.
So this morning I arrive at work, it's been a LOONG drive, I've been awake most of the night feeling a little sad and low. I sing a pretty ballad in Spanish(translated by my lovely dad), it's kinda sad. And BOOM... A tear drops down my face. On stage. Total meltdown. I barely get through the last five minutes of the show and the boys, bless 'em, all look like I am carrying a nuclear weapon. They back away slowly, and frightened at the depth of femaleness (tears). The stage manager kindly lets me go. I bawl my eyes out in my beloved car. I call my girlfriends, and by GOD they rally me. P is fierce and lovely and C is kind and gentle, my sister lends a sympathetic ear with no judgment and I realize... There are women out there who still love me. It's hard. I know I did something "Wrong". But I still need my friends... Sigh
Oh... and I miss my kitty boyz so much.... I love those cats more than my own life.... double sigh.
Well on a brighter note, T and I went Lindy Hoppin' last Saturday... He's a hella good dancer... lucky me! And he knows I've been low so we're going out tonight...
Still It's a bit of a lonely St Paddys Day

Tuesday, March 07, 2006


I was in The Razzies on Saturday...

The press was out of control. CNN, the BBC, the AP and countless tiny Japanese women with steady cams, and a Scottish guy in a full kilt. What in the world was THAT about?
We were at the Ivar Theatre in Hollywood and could see the Oscar hullabaloo from the Blvd. We got there WAAAY early and had the treat of going to Roscoes Chicken and Waffles and eating everything in sight. We strolled the Blvd and went to Hollywood Toy and Costume and bought T's Mum a boxing Nun.
I have to confess Star Wars III was the only movie I saw... I would have been so mad losing precious life-hours watching dreck like Jennie McCarthys "Dirty Love". And for the record, I love performing in the Razzies but believe me, I know that there but for the grace of {{{insert deity here}}} go I!!
Another Kaiser trip for T on Sunday.... I won't go into details, but let me tell you ,Children's theatre is dangerous, Kids are disease ridden little darlings! And YET that ol' Biological clock is tic tic ticking... Amazing thing, nature...
Eureka! is still going strong. Only 80 more shows to go.... oh GAWD! At least I'm a working actor, right? RIGHT????? sigh....

AIDS Ride Site.