Tuesday, November 28, 2006

I am the pregnant Rodney Dangerfield


Case in point: In my last show I was wearing ( I know Demondoll can relate) A white unitard.... I'm pausing so you can all picture this... I am at a low ebb concerning my looks, feeling and looking like the Battleship Potemkin, and yet, I cavorted all of my extra poundage around for weeks, onstage, in a nationally renowned, Tony award winning yet, theatre in a blinding white stretchy, unforgiving, and god-help me if I had to pee, unitard. Oh the humanity!

This is the buggy crew. T is in my favorite color. He looked good in it. I was super jealous. His costumer made the baby a tiny replica of his worm hat.... AWWWWW!!!!

Babystrike proceeds apace. We are slowly and through the delightfully sweet auspices of friends and family, getting everything we need for little Norbert... Bartholomew? Titus?? Anyway one disturbing trend is the preponderance of WARNINGS on every available inch of baby stuff space. The dear little Bassinet/Co-sleeper thingy as much as warns you... do NOT leave your baby unattended in this thing, (huh???) well we had a panic attack and then noticed that the cribs say that, the car seats say that, the baby rockers say that... I guess the companies need to cover their butts by giving already nervous new parents high blood pressure. Not very pleasant or restful, but one does get used to it. Just remember: plastic bags are not toys (duh), baby seats shouldn't be installed in the drivers seat(double duh), and don't get freaked out if you hear your neighbors very saucy cell phone conversations on the baby monitor. It's all par for the course in Babylandia

4 comments:

demondoll said...

Why did they put you in white, of all things?! Oh, the cruelty! I know that they had a good reason, but white is so not a pregnant girleen's friend. Don't you worry, you are the cuteness 34 weeks or no!

White Ghost Devil said...

On names: D-Doll has a whacky cuz who combined his and his wife's names to call their baby...




...wait for it...





Marioli.

It makes me think of pasta.

Brad said...

You are right about the warnings. The bubble wrapped world kids have now makes you think we were raised in a world filled with razor blades jutting out from the walls and plastic bags maliciously dropping from the sky. How did anyone live past the age of 3?

White Ghost Devil said...

Knitted baby goods are now in the trusty hands of the USPS. Hopefully you'll get them before college.

Have a great shower... the baby type. But have a good daily one too.