Congratulations Joan Jett on your induction into the rock and roll hall of fame!

In honor of Joan, here are some monologues she inspired:

Monologues for Woman 40's-50's
Fabulous Monsters Outakes
Copyright Diana Burbano 2015

#fabulousmonsters

If you use them, let me know!

Slade

I've read a lot of books by my friends. the ones who survived. Describing the scene, ya know? The ones who lived, we feel like we are the last word of the history. What pisses me off is that since SO many people are dead, that the only ones writing the history are the poser assholes who made it out alive. I guess I'm one of them.

It's really cool, to slag people off. 'specially people like Patti and Debbie. Jesus, when don't you read that Debbie and Belinda "got fat"? Everyone "got fat"! man. we had no money to buy food, what money we had we spent on drugs, and one show burnt about a million calories. Start acting like a norm, and the weight comes on pretty fast. The people I know now, especially if Ive reconnected. It amazes me that so many of the people we considered geniuses were fucking mentally ill. We were a chic insane asylum. Didn't bathe? Collected Nazi memorabilia? Fucked 10 groupies a night? Geniuses. I recently saw a guy I knew walking outside what used to be Ed's in DTLA. He lived in a loft, but not one of those yuppified toy district lofts, he lived in a flophouse on the edge of Chinatown. The place was CRAMMED with junk. Clothes in piles to the ceiling. Cat shit everywhere. He had 3 gold records covered in dust and god knows what. He spent most of his time in bed playing Call of Duty. He used to be something big, but he was always a freak. His girlfriend used to pull me aside and remind me that he was a genius. Even back then i thought he was a wacko.

SLADE

I did get royalties, ya know. But we signed away every right we had. A pretty well known chick director wanted to use one of my tunes in her movie. That was a substantial check. I paid off my parents house! But then it was gone. Ive never been good with money.
Here's the problem. This shit just fizzles out. You're young you play your guts out. You spark, someone wants to record you! You tour, you cut an album. Path diverges. 1 you burn out and go back to school. 2 you die of an overdose. 3 you tour some more. Path diverges. touring sucks so you quit. You kill yourself. or you cut another album. No one buys it. You quit and go do something else. Or you kill yourself. ad infinitum. It's either death or normality. If you are the one half of the one percent who keeps going. It's cause yer mad. So what? So you get your pleasure where you can. Drugs are good. They make thing pretty for a while. Anything you do for self preservation is sort of a cop out. You are chill, or you are a person who enjoys shaudenfarude. Wanna know how people died? They OD'd but there's a lot of things that can happen. You don't necessarily die cause the drugs stop your heart. You choke on a sandwich. Or puke. You drown in your bathtub. You slice your arm open on the glass you threw and bleed out cause you're too high to notice. OR you do the other thing and top yourself, Hanging is popular. It's fairly simple and self explanatory, and If you are high while doing it it doesn't feel so bad. Cutting is harder, but only because human flesh is surprisingly tough. Shooting yourself, or your girlfriend. Stabbing your girlfriend. That was like a theme. I knew someone who ate glass. that didn't work so much. Drinking weed killer works but rots your insides a bit slowly so the death is agony. Disease killed a lot of us. AIDS mostly. No surprise how many people we lost, but MAN some people must've had immune systems of iron to get out alive. Bowie and Iggy. How the FUCK did they survive intact? Lessee... I knew a girl who was eaten by her cats, but we think she died from an OD first. sometimes I get together with friends from the early days and we try to figure out how many of our friends are dead. Last time we stopped counting at 57. It was too fucking depressing. Now that we are old, Cancer is eating up a lot of us. The chicks seem to get a lot of breast cancer. But that's possibly just the population at large and rock chicks aren't special. Or maybe our guitars are fucking us up.