AIDS ride Day 3! 6/6 King City-Paso Robles

TRIED to get up earlier, really tried! Failed. T's bike is flat AND has a broken spoke. Bike tech jerry-rigs the spoke and promises to fix it at lunch. The road is terrible, rutted, pitted and bouncy, it's freezing, the caboose is chasing us so we are in fear that we will be "Sagged" (Removed from the road and, Horrors!, bused to camp) Just as we start to put in maximum effort, pop,pop... T breaks 2 more spokes. Are we doomed?
We get "Swept" (taken to the next rest stop) By Midori and Ken in the Bunny Luv van. We are grim. They give us candy and stickers, we accept the kindergarten treats because, being deprived of luxury, gummi bears sound like caviar.
The bike tech's have NO spokes that will fit the wheel. We are so depressed, until the bike guy says he'll go into town and BUY the right ones and meet us at the next stop. Now we just have to connive our way onto a sweep van, cause regulations say that when you are in bike trouble you are DONE, But father Fred and the Black Sheep come through and (illegally) give us a ride.
Fr. Fred nearly loses his head taking T's heavy bike off the top of the van (seriously, the ladder went out from under him and he was being strangled between the bike and his van! Quick thinking Drag Queens save him from certain doom.)
Miraculously spokes have been found to fit T's outsized bike. T is worshipful at the resourcefulness of our tech who found a bike shop in the middle of farm land that carried equipment for T's Beach cruiser.
We are shaken but determined and a quick nap in the tent when we arrive at camp revives and refreshes.
T and D get well deserved massages. T's gal says his skin is "thick" which worries him for a couple of days.
D craves chocolate milk and drinks about a gallon. D is lactose intolerant.... T is surprisingly tolerant. He craves fish and rice and eats more than your average linebacker.
Walking back from dinner they run into a Roller Derby! It's colorful and folkloric, and a pleasant brain-scrub from the ride. D reveals not so hidden dream of Roller Derby stardom as Lulu the Lulu, killer skater. T alarmed.

AIDS ride Day 2! 6/5 Santa Cruz - King City

Awakened in Santa Cruz by our neighbors alarms. About 1838 alarms, different sounds all LOUD! We groggily load our tent, then discover we are LAST at the food tent. OOPS.... gulp, gulp our coldish breakfast, rush rush to get out of camp before we get scooped up by the bus. Almost the last to pick up our bikes... We are still learning how regimented and military boot camp this ride truly is.
We aren't totally alone on the route but almost, we bypass free smoothies and coffee, "Gotta make time!!!" Pedal thru Aptos, which is green and redwood; Strawberry Fields, the aroma is intoxicating. The fields are T's favorite thing in the state.
We manage to get to Monterey with a minimum of fuss, until we stop at Moss Landing Cafe, where di loses her backpack with ALL her credit cards as well as ALL the bike equipment. OY.
D is a wreck about this loss until T force feeds her tacos and pineapple soda. Things better from then on.
The bike path seems like it's in Nebraska, It's getting very hot. On and on....
King City is an old Train Depot. A cranky Di gets a massage. It is FREEZING. T gets chilled to the bone and never really manages to warm up. Thanks to Rusty L. we have a tarp to keep our drafty little tent warm... helps tremendously.
Asleep before our heads hit the pillow.

AIDS ride Day 1 San Francisco-Santa Cruz! 6/4

Up at 4:30 am. D and A, just back from their night out are still in their party clothes, including my brothers very hip utilikilt (see earlier Sam Maloof entry for more info about said kilt).
They take us to the Cow slaughter...er... palace, the city is suprisingly clear and warm. We get dropped off in the middle of bicycle chaos. Heads whirling we drop our bags off at the gear truck, realizing we shoulda got duffels with wheels.
We are given Red helmet covers that say, "not another 25 years" and we bike out of the Cow P en masse at 7am.
Again we are gloomy to note that our bikes are big, our tires are big, we don't have clip in shoes and our clothing is thrift store chic, as opposed to the truly fantastic and glam assortment of bike wear. Several Colombians are spotted. We meet Jose, a sweet guy, HIV+, whom we love because his bike is as unwieldy as ours AND he's wearing sneakers! He's been on the ride before and he utters the immortal line, "I just never learn from my mistakes." He gives T a clip to hold his map to his bike.
THE RIDE OUT! The roadies are dressed as cows and are waving cow bells at us. Tons of people on the street are waving and hollering. Adrenaline is moving us on until... FOG! T has to stop every couple of minutes to wipe his glasses, he strikes up friendship w/ "Lenny" a man who has to be just under 7 feet. The riding is exhilirating, through the heart of S.S.F and into Daly City.
The first rest stop is soothing, except for the loud disco music that is playing and that turns out to be playing ALL the time. T is challenged, he is allergic to Cher. We apply loads of squishy Butt Butter and are introduced to P'nut Butter and jelly graham bars.. yum yum.
We keep riding through fog and make it to rest stop 2 just as it's closing (a tradition for Team Goober, as it turns out) We fill up the Gatorade tank and start up a scary hill into Half Moon bay nicknamed Carback Mountain. Traffic is constant and there is no shoulder. At the crest of this switchbacky hill there are Koto drummers (inspired) and red vines (soothing) T meets a lady who is terrified of going downhill and quits the day tthere and then... boy is she in for a few surprises! Down hill like a roller coaster and such a reward after the uphill.feels like it takes about 2 minutes to go 6 miles on a %7 grade. A little reckless, but very fun. We land in pretty valley, again with too much traffic, T is almost crushed by an RV..
We land In Half Moon bay. Lovely coastline, no nasty McMansions blotting the sea, just a few farms and lots of pretty dunes.
More Travel... getting so tired the miles just begin to blend...roll, roll, roll, spin, spin, spin.... and into Camp 1.

AIDS ride Orientation Day! 6/3

We awaken at my parents house in San Jose, having been driven there the day before by Tom's dad, Robert. My mom is making arepas (heavenly Colombian corn pancakes) My mom is chatting with T's dad, my poor dad is stuck on call at the hospital. We gobble our delicious breakfast and scurry to the nearest bike shop, which sells us tire tubes and tools for 40% OFF!!! Groovy until the tubes turn out to be ALL WRONG (more later) which is in the tradition of all the gormless bike shop guys we have dealt with in the past 6 months. Run into Longs and get throw away cameras (destroyed later) Go to Army surplus and get Dutch UN duffel bags for cheep! Hoorah, now all our stuff actually fits in one bag! Sleeping bag, pad and pile of sporty clothes ( all wrong, more later)
Mom and I ride in one car, Tom and Robert ride with the bikes in another and we make our way to the Cow Palace. ( A literal cow barn and auction house) We go to drop off our bikes and gulp deeply at the fact that ours are the biggest and cruise-iest bikes on the lot. We take nervous inventory of the hot shot bikes and start to REALLY freak out. We are scared we are NOT ready for this challenge.
The donation thing took so long to clear up that we missed the first safety video ( which consequently got us put in the LAST of the tents for sleeping) Robert leaves for his dinner appointment.
Panicked and crazed, we slowly have meltdowns fron the scary so called safety video.
Mom takes T and Me to Musee Mechanique. Very soothing... Hook up with my brother and his girl and have Yummy crab at "The Franciscan" Donald and Diana put on a floor show with the crab legs. T and D have their last G and T's for a week.
Mom drops T and D at Don's Goth black Jetta, we go to Fort Point and gaze at the Golden gate bridge. At Don's brand new apartment we stare at our unruly PILES of stuff, while D and A get ready to go to Thunderdome. They leave us with the not-so-soothing "The Aristocrats" we go to bed terrified and get not a wink of sleep.

Cabins and Cabinets

Well it's been a quiet few weeks in Laguna Beach, my new hometown. Having finished Eureka! I've been suffering from the usual "where is my next meal coming from?" Panic. Add that to the "I'm going to be on that torture device known as a bicycle for HOW may miles?" and "I need an apartment somewhere in LA" and "I never see my friends anymore" and "We are doing a cabaret WHEN?"...Sigh, I wake up sweating at 4 am a lot.
Last week we had a trip to IKEA which was a little bit like exploring the Congo. Schmuutt and Kuurgles and Haasbekke, where the hell is the thing called "chest of drawers!?" Had Swedish meatballs, bought a Kluumett and constructed it in 3 hours! Without killing each other! T and I agree that a speed round of build an IKEA project with your mate will REALLY prove compatibility. I tried giving T a rock and roll history lesson during our construction time, he listened politely but rather disinterestedly. We're up to Buddy Holly... I think I'd better sell my U2 tickets on eBay.
We also went up to Cuyamaca to do some cabin clean up and exploration. The Shelton family has 100 acres up near Julian, but most of it was devastated by fire 2 years ago. Went with his cousins, including the fabulous K who put us in her UN DVD. I got blown up by a landmine! (On film that is, no one panic....) Also the cabin got measured with an eye to fixing. I had a great time but I'm afraid I'm becoming the "I love you Dahling , but give me park avenue!" gal.... Nah that's not true, I just was feeling ishy, and I couldn't enjoy it to the FULLEST extent. T is salvaging pieces from the burnt down cabins and making a Louise Nevelson. The remaining cabin is cute and rustic and way DARK at night. I'm afraid I misbehaved a bit, as one weird noise in the middle of the night had me sitting bolt upright and hollering, which had T dying of laughter, because what I thought was a mountain lion... Was the front door opening.
T is grouchy. I gave him what I realize now is a TERRIBLE gift for his birthday, laser Teeth Whitening. He's had to go to the dentist twice now, once for the initial and once for the cleaning and he's got to go back again for the actual laser. The dentist is apparently very bossy and mean, but his teeth look great. However he's been a bear for HOURS after his appointments. Next year he's getting a book.
Our cabaret act is shaping up nicely. T is so good on the damn piano! It's intimidating. But I think we're going to sound pretty good.