Eat a Peach...

Oof.
We are two weeks into rehearsal for "Peach" and as usual, it is an absolute blast. I'm amazed I get paid to do this stuff. I'm running and spinning, pretending to be a spider, dancing my butt off, and apart from feeling FAT in my UNITARD (oh the indignity!) having a great time. The cast is comprised of some of my faves from the TYA "Rep". Funny, funny folk. 'Course, there's no one ruder or filthier than a kiddie theatre actor. I suppose it comes as an antidote for being cute all the time, but honestly, we'd make sailors blush.
I do sometimes forget that I'm not as limber as usual and I get really confused when I can't leap up from a sitting position, but so far I've felt good. The show is selling out quickly... This is a good one to go out on for a while.
I have NOTHING for the baby yet except a huge pile of clothing... There's procrastination and then there's this... Not my first choice, if it was totally up to me everything would be assembled and decided on and painted... oh well.. Must be ZEN. WILL find the room, WILL have a place, WILL stay calm... I've decided the tyke's "Theme" is going to be sailing and boats. It's good to have a point of reference, even if it's only a theory. Target has a nice baby registry, but I have no idea what I need... I'm such a dork. I've changed one diaper in my life, and I've held a newborn maybe twice... Cloth or disposable? Paper or plastic? Coffee, tea or Me?

I wonder if he's mad at me for jumping around so much.

Myles of Fun

We had a delightful trip to Calistoga with my fam.
We took the train up from LA to SJ. It was a comfortable 10 hour ride, we snuggled and ate and looked out the observation car. So much more relaxing than airplanes.
We arrived in SJ on Saturday night. On Sunday Morning my sis and her Hubby ran a 1/2 Marathon(!) Completely amazing. We stayed in bed. hehehe. We drove to Calistoga with my Dad. We stayed in the Carlin Cottages, a revamped motor court, and luxuriated in our hot spring fed pool. T and I were gloriously lazy. We didn't go to a single vineyard and mostly spent the time soaking like hippos. We did play a bit with my ADORABLE and Rambunctious nephew Myles. What a flirt he is. He batted his eyelashes and asked for surprises and one felt like a terrible ogre if one did not oblige!
Saw the petrified forest. It was... Petrified. Ate, ate, ate and had a massage and Tom and the baby got kicked out of the local dive bar 'cause the baby was under 21.
We got to hang with my sis a lot, she proceeded to joyfully and wickedly tell me all about how babies arrive in the world, furthering my desire to be knocked out the SECOND the first contraction appears. She's a world class Doctor, so she would know.... Somehow we managed to come away from Napa without a single bottle of wine. Oops. Came home on Wed via Southwest... one good thing about being knocked up? You get preboarding privileges on airplanes. The turkeys at security still make you take off your shoes. Try bending over with a bowling ball stuffed down your pants and you can imagine my humiliating predicament. I had to ask T to take my shoes off for me. Like a little old lady. Well, I have elastic waisted pants and I piddle when I sneeze, I waddle when I walk and my sciatica hurts. Leisure World here I come!
I do love a good vacation. Even if I did look like Shamu in my polka dot bikini.

Maternity Tours... get me off this bus!

27 Weeks

EEEK!!! T andI went on the maternity tour at South Coast Hospital on Monday. Neither of us are joiners, and both of us are wisecracking and sarcastic. Needless to say we were NOT the favorites of the group.
The leader had a lot of the worried sheep look that T and I grew to fear on the AIDS ride. She spent the first 15 minutes scolding us for our sins, which in my case include coffee, Punk rock and the occasional glass of red wine, oh and hot tubs, and late nights. Bad mommy. Then bad daddy for not getting a car seat RIGHT NOW, and for not taking Lamaze classes (Yeah, like I'm gonna puff on cue and concentrate on a picture to alleviate pain, HAH! I'll be cussing like a Hell's angel and throwing a punch at the nearest person who tries to be soothing. My birth plan includes lots of drugs and the soundtrack to the Filth and the Fury) With that we were left to watch a national Geographic video all about pregnancy. T leaned over and asked me why the baby looked like she was dipped in honey. Why indeed? 4D makes baby look like a badly cooked turkey.
The rooms are late Eighties pink and turquoise. Very Miami Vice. Dr Woody looks nothing like Sonny Crockett.
Just looking at the bed made me feel nauseous. It was narrow... it had a "squat" bar... and...ugh....stirrups. So like a medieval torture rack, but not in a sexy, Goth way. The Machines that go ping are disguised behind bad, faded art prints. It looked like a motel room in Nebraska.
Various gentlemen were asking sensitive questions about birthing balls, and tubs, and doulas etc. T and I were both thinking the same thing. Wimps. T's idea of pacing the waiting room smoking a cigar and watching football sounds better to me. Oh to be knocked out like a late 50's housewife. I'd love to go in, be out, and then wake up and someone hands me a cute little child. Sigh...
Before anyone panics, we are both preparing, we are going to do it all natural and stuff. We just WISH it could be like an old I Love Lucy episode. A girl can dream can't she? Mary Tyler Moore was so cute post natally... I'm going to look like I was attacked by Godzilla.
We were stopped in our world weary tracks. A baby was born while we were there. We could hear it... AAWWWWW!!!! Mushy and so sweet.
I guess I'll survive the goofiness of the maternity ward. As long as I'm healthy, the tyke is healthy and Tommy is healthy... Well... It's not THAT bad.

Birthing balls?

Didn't we already use those?