Not THE Greatest Story Ever Told

Louis XIV

Did you know that Louis XIV's favorite , Athenais, spent MOST of her time as maitress en titré pregnant? And she still had the King in thrall. As a matter of fact, she had clothing designed to enhance her figure as some sort of godess of fecundity. Can't imagine where she got the energy.

Fa La La la BAH!

Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored!

I wish I was doing something this holiday season... I just don't have the gift of entertaining myself, never have. I really miss working.

Today I went for the longed for wax... Childbirth will be mere child's play, 'cause at least you get drugs. Explain to me how anyone can take getting ALL of it taken off, please, because I think I would die. 'Course I'm a Mediterranean gal, but heck, Brazilians are a fuzzy people. Do they have no nerves near their girly bits? OW. Getting my furry self under control has been a life long obsession. When I HAD a little discretionary cash I spent it on laser hair removal. And I DO NOT regret it. I'd feel like a gorilla otherwise.

Also got my layers BARELY trimmed. I miss my pixie cut. Why oh why am I letting my mop grow out? T likes long hair, and I am becoming a slave to his preference. He also hates it when I paint my toes anything other than Cherries-in the Snow red, but heck if I'll give up my Walmart toes. I love my tacky toes. I'm hoping someone around here will do leopard spots. With sequins. AND maybe a toe ring.

My shower was very sweet. Beautiful, tasteful... It had a nautical theme! My friend B who threw it for me was an absolute angel, and it was nice to see my pals, although I have to say, I still feel sorta goofy opening baby gifts. I'm still not sure I QUITE believe I'm actually gonna have a baby. I guess I'm in for the shock of my life in about 3 weeks. Poor T, too.

Geeze aren't I fat? I'm doing pilates and jogging like a maniac in all my dreams... Oh vanity thy name c'est MOI.

Don't we both look slightly shell shocked in this picture?

Wow... my arm...looks like an unbaked loaf of French bread.

Huh... At least I have cleavage for the first time in my life.

Yes, now I am tormenting all of you with my faffing and thumb twiddling...

Oy....

bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored.

Tick, tick Boom!

As I sit waiting in terror for little TBA to make his entrance onto the scene, I am filled with an overwhellming urge to preen. I desperately need a pedicure, a haircut and a *bikini wax*. I know you probably think me a vain, shallow creature... and you are absolutely right! But let's get real for a second. When is the next time that I will have any sort of a chance to take care of the little peacock that is me? The twelfth of never, that's when. By then I will have come to resemble a rainforest in Brazil, if you receive my meaning. Plus I'm missing REAL yoga, I'm retaining Lake Erie, and I resemble Orson Wells. Something must be done. I just don't know how I am to get the longed for grooming done... I'm not supposed to get my feet massaged, I may regret any hair brained haircut I decide on and I can't lie on my back long enough for the sadistic Russian lady to do her thing. Oh woe is me...