NST's and Me

I got sent home that night, even though T was against it and thought I should stay put. But I thought, if I go home now, everything will calm down and the baby will settle and we can go about having him when he was Expected. Ah... the best laid plans.
I come back the next morning for another non stress test. Same nurse, same worried sounds... Doc W comes in. He is trying to talk me into having a C-section, I am already freaked and attached to monitors and confused and willing to have anything that would stop me from being scared. So... OK baby's in distress... C-section a go! except.. I had breakfast that morning and have to wait till the afternoon to digest it. I am strapped to the monitors all day anxiously waiting for the surgery to begin.
Worse and worse T has to work that night! He calls my beloved parents who drop everything and rush down to Laguna.
We wait and wait and wait and then... The anaesthesiologist makes his appearance and the "procedure" is a go.
It was so weird! I was laid on the table. (frankly I felt like a dolphin or a corpse from CSI) and numbed. They put up a blue screen, like something straight out of the movies. T thinks the baby was created by the Rand corporation since he didn't see him come out. He just saw me, screen and then grey and green baby. (anyone remember the Warner brother cartoon about "Yob, Yob, That's my baby?") I felt tugging, pulling, nausea, fear. A song from Rent played on the radio. T says he saw my guts stacked alongside me. Then at 4:42 Lionel was pulled out of a neat little opening in my belly and made a tiny cry. I think I stopped breathing. T was rushed away and he cut the cord, I met little L but had to stay put while they sewed me back together....
Everything seemed to be OK, they even wanted me to nurse, but then....