Sunday, October 10, 2010

Not so lovely Rita

"Tell the truth, if Osama bin Laden and a meter maid both came strolling toward your car, you'd probably think, "Oh no, here comes a GD meter maid."
The parking Nazi bastards have done it again. But this time... bwahaha! This time Officer Hoohaw has got another think coming. He came around at 14:37, he tickets me at 16:23. Getting past the bloody annoying military time, that means I had 14 minutes to move the car! Oh over-eager donut eater, the sign says 2 hours. 2 complete hours. Not 1 hour and 46 minutes. My vengeance will be swift and terrible.
What must it be like to be the most loathed of the service sector? What does a meter maid or daddy have to redeem hisself? Nuthin'. They save no kittens, escort no old ladies across the street, earn no teary smiles of gratitude for forcing one to move ones car.
My street is not a particularly busy one, especially during the day. There is no great NEED to move the car every two hours, when the majority of the parking is taken up by the apartment dwellers. But as someone pointed out, two tickets is nearly $100 for the city of LB. You watch a street sweeper and the army of PNazi's cruising in front of 'em. "Writing" a ticket (they come spitting out of a dear little machine) takes 2 minutes and I once counted 10 cars on a 3 block stretch of Belmont shore. $500 in 20 minutes.
Maybe instead of hating them, we should come up with a bribe scheme. I'm willing to slip The PN $20 a month to leave Alfie alone. C'mon, you know they are making a sad little just over the minimum living! Who's in? A new campaign, learn to LOVE the meter maid.
Ah, who'm I kidding. They must hire sadists for that job. They get a frisson ticketing the over worked mom with 2 baby seats in the car outside of the hospital. Or the guy who is at his first job interview in a year, who had to dig under the couch for enough quarters to get a gallon of gas.
Well Officer Hoohaw, I challenge you to a duel. Or at least a lesson in telling time.

1 comment:

spartacus said...

I think the people who ticket cars were probably the outcasts among the lowest of the outcasts in high school. They had no friends so they have an overwhelming hatred of all people.

Fight the power! Beat the system.